If I cared ANY LESS about football, it would create a rip in the seams of the universe and everything would spill out and get all over the place. As it stands, however, the laws of physics will only allow you to not-care only so much. I bring this up because every Monday morning at work involves a lengthy discussion between my co-workers as to what happened in the wild wacky wascally world of football the weekend before. It’s just another one of those subtle little reminders that I will probably be deported one day because I am not a raging football fanatic. I’m sure that my lack of enthusiasm for the sport would probably hold up in a court of law as very concrete evidence that I am not, in fact, a Texan, and “probably not even an American, your honor!” Now, there’s nothing wrong with, you know, football itself. On its own, it’s just a game that actually does require some level of intelligence, and is a lot of fun to play with your friends (as long as there’s no pesky equipment to get in the way). But sports went beyond being “just a game” long ago. It’s franchises and memorabilia and endorsements and new stadiums with bigger parking lots and local governments clamoring for a piece and commercials and marketing and schools with out of whack budgets and ya ya ya. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go eat my tofu and do my ballet.