A Warm and Fuzzy Rant
I’d like to open my first entry by thanking the other members of this company for asking me to be a member of this great troupe and giving me the opportunity to express my creativity at the possible expense of their credibility. It’s been a pleasure working with them this past year. Thanks LGT. I hope you know what disaster you may have unleashed upon the earth. Enough of the warm and fuzzy, now to the rant. I went to the theatre the other day to catch a flick and was force fed twenty minutes of shitty advertising. Has anyone else been accosted by this horrible barrage of product jockeying that has been fashionably dubbed “The Twenty”? Pre movie entertainment once consisted of plugs for the on sight consession stand. You remember the drill. A hotdog, a soda, a box of candy, and a bag of pop corn would do this crazy song and dance routine, enticing us to rush the concession stand. Dancing junk food always throws my appetite into high gear. I’ll allow for differences according to region and the fact the dancing junk food might have been a lucid dream, but it seemed harmless enough. Eventually Oscar Meyer and company were 86ed and replaced with poor pop music and a blank screen, which wasn’t all bad. The music could be tuned out with good conversation. Then ad execs decided there was far too much time being wasted before movies started. Next thing you know we’re staring at a slide sponsored by Coca Cola asking a trivia question to a shitty movie. Admittedly the slide show of ads is great for local business and is also easily ignored if one chooses not to look but now I’m being insulted by Tiger Woods doing a bastardized turn as Bill Murray’s “Carl” from Caddyshack to plug Amex, lame ass music videos and TNT telling me I should keep my ass glued to the sofa and watch their shitty syndicated line up. Depending on the theatre your visiting you may be witness to Bob Dole ogling Brittney Spears as he watches a Pepsi commercial. It’s supposed to be cute, but it’s not. It’s the stuff nightmares are made of. This will not stand. “This aggression will not stand man”. I realize being a patron of theatres only feeds the beast, so save the “don’t go to the movies” take. I see as little film as possible while it’s in theatres. Showing up just before the movie starts is no good, unless you want to throw your $8 away on a bad seat. Advertisers feed off of wasted time. Starve them by talking to the person next to you or here’s a novle thought take a book and read before the show starts. Large chain theatres could learn something from locally owned theatres, like a certain draft house, about pre movie entertainment. But that would probably screw with how they operate and do business. I’m sure that none of this will do anything in the way of stopping this beast. I really just need to get that off my chest. I promise my next entry will be a bit lighter. Ahhh…think I’ll go have a coke.
Comments
Movie-theatre phobia girl
2004-03-30T15:26:01.000Z
This is one of the many reasons why I cannot stand to go see a movie in the theatre anymore. And the movie theatre chains have the balls to say they have to have the advertising revenue or they can’t afford to show movies. Bullcrap. They charge me EIGHT BUCKS to watch advertising??? And then there’s always some asshole chatting away the whole movie and then some other asshole’s cellphone goes off? See, Tim, this is why something I used to do at least once, sometimes twice a week is no longer fun. This is why I don’t go to the movies at the theatre. I have a great couch and I can rent something for a quarter of the cost and watch it at home on a screen that’s large enough for me. And that’s what I’ll continue to do, except for the drafthouse. Long live the drafthouse!
la la boy
2004-03-30T17:43:24.000Z
I’ve been hitting the Arclight for special occasion movies. The reason I only go there for certain flicks is because the place charges 15 bucks a ticket on weekend nights. 10 bucks any other night. If you’re gonna spend that kind of money on a movie, it damn well better be a good one.
One of the reasons they charge so much is because they don’t show commercials. One of the few theaters I have seen in L.A. who have avoided the commercial trap. Of course, if these people one day go the way of the ACT III, then somebody’s getting firebombed.
