So you may remember (but probably not), that I wrote a play called “Big Box God” for Frontera Fest this year. It was about churches changing to stay viable. And I thought when I was writing it that I was on the side of flexibility, against all those stodgy blue hairs who refuse to change. But I’ve come to realize that I’m a Blue Hair. And I don’t want to go to one of those newfangled churches. I’m less unhappy about the changes than Julie is, but I’m much more used to being angry and unhappy in church.

So we’ve been getting grumpy because slowly they’ve been adding more “contemporary” songs into the service. “Contemporary” here means that they were written in 1978, and mainly just suck. They also added an LCD projector. And they’ve been projecting powerpoint slides to accompany the service that have become more complex and invasive each week. They also changed the Lord’s Prayer to a contemporary version. A version we have to read off of the LCD projector. I find staring at a wall leaves something to be desired in the genuflection department.

So yesterday they started off the sermon playing a powerpoint presentation of stills from the Virginia Tech Shooting accompanied by “Hurt” as performed by Johnny Cash. I just read my bulletin, but Julie only took about two seconds of it. She announced rather loudly that she needed to go to the bathroom, and exited the pew. As she did so, her leg caught a hymnal and sent it flying. It was awesome. But then it just kept going. And going. And “Hurt” is not even remotely an appropriate song for a mass shooting. It would be appropriate if you were showing pictures of the shooter. But it doesn’t make sense as a eulogy for the victims. Unless you’re somehow saying it’s their fault they got shot. I understand that sometimes you don’t get the lyrics of a song, or it can be hard to understand the symbolism. But that song is completely straightforward and easy to understand. It’s just sad.

So now we’re contemplating if we want to continue going there. I’m just not even sure that Hyde Park needs a United Methodist church. There are plenty around it, and the demographics just don’t line up. If you check out Austin Contrarian frequently you’ll know that central Austin is not a particularly good area for a church. It’s mostly hungover singles, and young workaholic couples. There are no kids in central Austin. It’s ridiculous how few. You probably couldn’t have fewer kids if you passed a law outlawing them. And there’s little hope of having a church without a lot of families with children.

So we’ll see how it goes. If we do go Julie is going to raise hell about all the changes, before hand. So at least they’ll know why we’re leaving.

On happy notes. Sunday morning and afternoon were depressing, but we ate some good food last night and watched “Lost in America”, which is a brilliant comedy. Add it to your Netflix queue. It’s sort, too the point, and hilarious. Then today we just went out to talk to our builder, and got to tour the under-construction model home that’s the same plan as ours. I was really excited about it. Julie became Albert Brook’s character in “Lost in America”. The bedrooms are much smaller than what we have now. But in a bizarre twist, in order to accommodate� our elevation they’re having to add something like 40 square feet and a walk in closet to Stella’s bedroom. Which makes it substantially bigger than the master bedroom. And the window in front has a window seat. It’s wonderful. I’m psyched.

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Comments

Jooley Ann (www.julieholden.com)

2007-04-24T19:15:37.000Z

The contemporary stuff you describe really drives me nuts. I strongly prefer good old fashioned hymns & liturgy — and I grew up unchurched. Go figure. We go to First English Lutheran, 30th & Whitis (down the street from the central location of Trudy’s), where the service is traditional but the pastor & congregation are very liberal and forward-thinking. I love it there. But it is as you say WRT the kids thing in that part of town. There are *so* few kids at our church. I’m not worried about it right now, but if things don’t somehow change by the time Johanna starts understanding the whole Sunday School thing, we’ll have to look elsewhere. That’ll make me soooo sad, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Wish I’d seen your play. Be sure to post a note about it here if you ever produce it again!

Tim (http://www.loadedguntheory.com/blog/director/listblog/tim.html)

2007-04-24T20:27:53.000Z

The play’s here: http://www.loadedguntheory.com/collab/index.php?title=BigBox\_God if you’re feeling bored. I doubt we’ll do it again as it was pretty site specific. But who knows…