I really don’t have much to say today. I’m sad right now, because my jogging stroller has a really flat tire. I tried to put in some fix a flat type crap. That involved removing the valve core. This apparently is something that you just happen to know how to do. In much the same way that you know what a valve core is. I personally didn’t. The tool they gave me for removing it mysteriously had threading on the opposite end of the tool. I figured this meant I should screw it onto the stem. And it fit. But nothing budged. I finally found out online that I was supposed to use the other end of the tool to remove that little sticky outie (yes that’s the technical term) part of the valve. It just screws out. Fascinating stuff. The goo didn’t really want to go into the tire though, and after jogging for a mile, stopping to fill up the tire every 200 meters or so, I gave up.

So tonight I’m going to pretend I know something about bicycle repair. Take off the tire. Pull out the tube. Put it in water to see the little bubbles. Patch it. The whole nine yards. I’m hoping I can do it quickly so I can still run. I haven’t run since Friday because of this flat. And I REALLY want to go out running in this beautiful weather. I have so much fear that I’m never going to get the tire fixed that I’m tempted to try to get some sort of frame to put Stella in and start a Degobah training regiment. I know that’s ridiculous though.

In other news, as part of our savings plan I’ve been knocking out 6 -7 meals a week for approx $130 a week. I’m pretty excited by that. It’s amazing to me that I really can cook that many nights in a row. Who knew I had that kind of self-control.

Oh, what else. They’re blowing stuff up in Algeria. That’s where Julie’s Dad works. That’s not making anyone around the house happy.

Oh, and so Julie was talking about attachment parenting and how we both kind of try to find things to keep Stella occupied, and we’re really practicing a detachment parenting style. This makes me wonder if perhaps kids have so many behavioral problems because we pay too much attention to them. I mean even the whole carrying your kid around thing is only attachment parenting until they start wanting to get out and do things.
I’d like to paint a different picture. In the beginning we had hunter/gatherers in the African plains carrying around their children as they foraged for tubers and roots. Tubers are roots, but we’ll ignore that for now. As civilization grew women had a lot of work to do. Washing clothes . Cooking food. Often working themselves should they happen to be born as slaves. So obviously they carried their children around until they were old enough to move on their own and then my guess is that they left them to their own devices out of necessity. At that point the kids ran off and dug holes and threw rocks at each other, like they’re supposed to developmentally.
And in the industrial revolution, the parent’s didn’t do any parenting. If you were rich you gave them to a nanny to ignore. If you weren’t they went to a sweatshop where a kindly singing manager would keep them in line by withholding soup. At least until you all got sent to the poor house. Then those chains and fellow prisoners stacked like cordwood were helpful for keeping the kid in line. Those who were pioneers didn’t have it any better. They would give the youngest children jobs sewing those quaint bonnets and splitting wood as soon as they could hold a needle or an ax. The closest thing they had to a structured game was cow milking. In the fifties women were still presented with many of the same tasks they had during the industrial revolution just with better drugs. And playpens. Playpens and earplugs allowed them to bake a cake every single day, and concoct elaborate ways of suspending all manner of foodstuffs in animal protein. In the seventies, women went to work outside the home and left their kids with the keys. Yet in the nineties it was decided that we should start paying attention to our children. That we should do things with them constantly and provide structured play. Bunk I say! Just give them some rocks and a gully! They’ll sort things out.

---

Comments

Holmes (http://the-holmes.blogspot.com)

2007-04-11T19:31:23.000Z

I’ve been meaning to take my bike to the Yellow Bike Project for weeks now so they can show me how to do it myself. I wonder if they could help out with strollers too. Can’t be that different. There was an interesting article about kid’s childhoods being stolen by having too many activities and such planned for them by well-meaning parents that now I can’t seem to find to leave a link to. Kind of the same-old same-old about kids having too many activities with no time for play, except now I read it differently since I, you know, am a parent. Also, I wouldn’t say that overplanning your kid’s life and being all up in their business (“do things with them constantly and provide structured play”) is quite attachment parenting. Not sure if that’s what you meant, but thought I’d toss it out there.

Tim (http://www.loadedguntheory.com/blog/director/listblog/tim.html)

2007-04-11T19:50:22.000Z

I was defining detachment parenting, by negating one of the tenents of attachment parenting, which is “Avoiding frequent and prolonged separations between parents and a baby.” So obviously the idea of throwing the kid in a play pen in the living room while you cook dinner in the kitchen is not ideal attachment parenting. But it is ideal detachment parenting! I think both attachment and detachment parenting are ideally suited for people to abuse and sign up their kids for too much structured play. For one it’s a way to help their kids develop, for the other a way to get the kid out of their hair. Ideally with attachment parenting you find balance. And with detachment parenting you let the kid run wild until they get brought home by the police.

mcoker (http://www.duderonomy.com)

2007-04-11T21:54:39.000Z

Bicycle Sports shop (both the N and S locations) do free bicycle maintenance clinics like once a week. They’re only like an hour, and they show you how to change mountain bike tires. I’d recommend it, but it may be overkill for what you’re doing :) Oh and if you have a favorite picture of lil’ Stella, Julie or something you want at the top of your blog, send it over and I’ll gladly spruce it up for ya in the same manner you have Stella’s pic up now… at worst, I can use the same thing you have now, but anti-alias the jagged edges.

Julie (http://www.loadedguntheory.com/blog/director/listblog/julie.html)

2007-04-12T04:16:46.000Z

So this is the actual IM conversation that Tim is referring to: (12:27:53) Julie: i’m awful. i gave stella a teething biscuit as her pre-lunch snack just because it would occupy her for longer. she’s really clingy and needy these days (12:28:07) loadedguntheory: I’m sorry. (12:28:07) Julie: i would be a horrible attachment parent. i’m more like a detachment parent (12:28:23) loadedguntheory: I’m the same way. Basically I’ve gotten used to Stella being pretty darn independent since she learned to crawl at about 10 months and now she is clingy and wants to be held or coddled like all the time and it’s driving me crazy! I love to cuddle with her, but cuddling has a time and a place. Basically I signed on for needy baby for like x amount of time and now I thought we were over that hurdle and I’m having a difficult time that we’re not. Tonight and last night when I went to rehearsal she wailed as I left. Ooh, boy, this whole “separation anxiety” thing is fun!