No one wants to see the work “crab” when buying a used mattress. Even if it’s just a typo.

The City of Austin picks up bulky trash twice a year. This is our day for putting say, that old gun safe that’s been sitting in the garage, on the curb. We can’t put these things out on just any trash day like many cities. Which I think is for the best. My mother-in-law, however, thinks it’s insane.

So last night everyone put out their bulky trash. And today has been a non-stop feeding frenzy. People in my neighborhood are seriously into bulky trash. When we moved in we had some things we needed to get rid of (including an 6’ tall entertainment center that hadn’t done well in the move). We just put these things on our front yard with a “Free” sign, and they were gone within 24 hours. Most of them were gone within the hour.

We don’t currently have any bulky trash. We’ve managed to go a fairly long time without doing any home improvement projects and we mostly like the stuff in our house. But as I sit here I can watch the crud my neighbors across the street put out. In the past hour there have been a minivan and a truck, and both have taken something from the pile. The pile now appears to only contain a while chunk of lattice work and a cardboard box (which the city won’t pick up, but maybe they’re gambling that someone else will).

I’ll keep you updated.

I got a call from United American Technologies the other day. They said they were from the “campaign to restore morals and values”. Then they went on to tell me that they could provide me with a list of all the sexual predators in the area including pictures. Which is one of my pet peeves. I feel like we either need to lock up those with sexual crimes for life or leave them alone. This vigilante justice nonsense really sickens me.

But anyway, I pushed 1 to talk to their representative. I asked how they got my name and asked to be taken off their list and they hung up on me. I called them back using my caller id, and got the same message. I finally got a representative. They took my phone number, and hung up on me.

Julie went to book club that night and one of the mothers recounted that her 4 year old had answered the phone to that message. Kids shouldn’t have to listen to this sort of vigilante hate speech. Now if this was a political message I’d just chalk it up to the usual conservative a-holes, but it turns out this is actually to sell phone service! They say that all the other phone carriers support pornography and they’re the only phone service for people who care about their children.

Absolutely, disgusting. You can call them at 877-266-6277 if you would like to be taken off of their list preemptively.

Yesterday was not a good run. I just didn’t feel great running. It was hard work from the outset. Normally I enjoy the running (which is why I do it). Before I ate dinner I nearly passed out sitting up at the table and Julie was pretty concerned about me. I perked up after dinner though. Who knows what that was about…

Race	Time	Min/Mile
1	27:05	8:41
2	25:54	8:18
3	25:32	8:11
4	25:36	8:12
5	25:22	8:08
6	25:32	8:11
7	25:18	8:06
8	25:59	8:19

I’m not big on watering. I don’t like the fact that I have to supplement nature. Plus I’m lazy. But, I’ve come to realize it’s a necessary evil. We put in a cactus garden in our old house with a rock base and the temperatures coming off there were scorching. Like actually scorching the undersides of the cactus in some cases. Like you couldn’t walk across it to weed after 7am or you could feel the heat coming up through the soles of your shoes. Obviously just covering your yard with rocks is not ideal. It’s only one step removed from concrete. As much as the idea appeals to me.

Our new house came with some beautiful, well established grass. The backyard in particular is wonderful. You can walk on it in bare feet which I think everyone who lives in Texas can agree is a ridiculous ideal that no one actually believes is possible. I feel responsible to this soft grass to take care of it and not kill it through neglect.

I’ve got the front yard on a timer and it works well. I don’t even have to think about it. Well, it woke up Stella last week so I had to change its time a bit, but mostly I don’t have to think about it.

The old homeowners recommended the rain train for the backyard. The idea behind it is that you lay out the hose in the path you want the train to take across your backyard. The water coming through the hose propels the train across your hose “track”. It does this slowly and evenly watering the whole back yard. This has turned out to be very nice. It waters quite evenly. My backyard is a long strip. My guess is that to water it using a traditional spinkler I’d have to move it at least 3 times. That’s not going to happen. The rain train does require that I lay out its track and turn it on and off. But I don’t have to remember to move it at regularly spaced intervals. I know that with a traditional sprinkler I’d end up with one really nice green section, one sorta brown section, and one completely dead section. I know my limitations.

So I’m happy with the rain train. It’s pricey, but worth it if you’re unable to remember to move a sprinkler like I am. Plus you get to sing “get on the rain train.. rain train” (to the tune of “Love Train”) all day.

Someday, I do plan on migrating the front yard to a cultivated prairie. But I think I’ll keep the backyard grass. It is nice to do my morning sit-ups in, Stella can run across it barefoot, and it is awfully nice for a nap.

I’ll keep it as long as it can withstand only being watered twice weekly by the rain train in this hot, hot summer. It’s doing good so far.

Race	Time	Min/Mile
1	27:05	8:41
2	25:54	8:18
3	25:32	8:11
4	25:36	8:12
5	25:22	8:08
6	25:32	8:11
7	25:18	8:06

Race	Time	Min/Mile
1	27:05	8:41
2	25:54	8:18
3	25:32	8:11
4	25:36	8:12
5	25:22	8:08
6	25:32	8:11

I guess I should view it as the best time for that course rather than worse than last week.

The Austinist yet again used the phrase “Calling Shenanigans” This irks me for some reason. Perhaps because I have some French blood and cannot abide the incorrect use of words. I don’t know.

Looking at the Wikipedia entry for “Schenanigans” it appears that we have Trey Parker and Matt Stone to thank for this bizarre mangling of a word.

Proper use of shenanigans from literature.

“I’ve put up with all your shenanigan I’m goin’ to.” - The Valley of the Moon by Jack London

“consider them all (and their owners) guilty (of “shenanigan”) until they are proved innocent” - Complete Letters of Mark Twain

“There’s some sort of shenanigan brewing, or my first name’s Peter” - The Days of Days by Louis Vance

You know you love my crazy, grumpy rants.

Man, I’m stoked about last night’s run. I thought I didn’t do very well, and the heat overwhelmed me and I even had to stop running for about 30 seconds on the dam. But my pace was still better than it has been and I’m pushing against that 8/minutes per mile mark. Gotta keep knocking out those seconds.

Race	Time	Min/Mile
1	27:05	8:41
2	25:54	8:18
3	25:32	8:11
4	25:36	8:12
5	25:22	8:08

So I was wondering why so many Cure audience members were Grade-A a*holes, while you go to a Morrisey concert and the audience is better behaved than at the symphony. You’d think they would be basically the same audience. And I think by and large they are. But this ven diagram might help explain.

The Cure fans in the left hand column are able to make the whole experience pretty horrible. Also there seemed to be lots of what I call - “Flying Dutchman Concert-goers”. These are concert-goers who are generally under 5’ (although not always), who will spend the entire concert wandering through the crowd. Looking for the magical paradise where people under 5’ can see the stage. This is not all short people. In fact there were really only 3 groups like this I saw at the concert on Saturday. It’s just that they passed by me at least 6 times per party.

I’ve read a lot of blogs about the Cure and seen a lot of unkind words about us tall people. Most of us do stay towards the back. The problem is that we often go to concerts with people who aren’t as tall as us who want to see. So we try to find some middle balance where our friends can see, and so can the majority of the audience. We actually provide a service to short people. Next time you’re at a concert find a tall person. You’ll find that generally there will be a small pocket behind them where people are not standing. Position yourself about 1’ behind the tall person to the right or the left (directly behind is a dead end). Based on your height you may then be able to see the stage. See drawing:

Of course the only danger with doing this is that tall people attract concert trolls. Concert trolls are unable to see tall people. They will elbow, step on feet, and always insist on walking between tall person and any person directly next to them. Regardless of how close tall person is to their friend and how much free space is around tall person (see diagram above). I had a short woman standing next to me drafting a line of sight on Sunday night. She could see just fine. The problem was that the concert trolls would stand on my feet and throw an elbow in her face. Or they would stand directly in front of her while standing on my foot. And then there was the woman who got on her boyfriend’s shoulders directly in front of said short woman. Threating to topple and crush her. Apparently standing near a tall person confers blindness upon you too by the concert trolls.

That said, I didn’t enjoy the concert too much. It was ok, but it was long, hot, and there were far too many irritating people. Reminds me why I go to SXSW. Say what you will about that, but it’s cool and by and large the audiences are pretty laid back.